SOCIETAL DESTRUCTION

According to our society, it’s always a thing of pride if a husband marries his wife a virgin. Those were the words our parents trained us with. That was the same thing Cynthia’s mother told her too since she was at a little age. You mustn’t spoil our family name, they said.

Cynthia, whose parents were devoted Catholic Christians firmly believe in abstinence till marriage. This was complicated by her father being one of the highly ranked church officials. As such, it would have been a disgrace to see any of his children wayward. Father would warn his daughters severally not to tarnish the family name ‘Uche’ and sometimes even threaten them.

….if any of you tries to disgrace me in this village, I will disown her, he said one day like he was reading a Nollywood script

Cynthia, the third born in a family of 4 beautiful girls and of course the most beautiful was still seeking admission into a higher institution. Father struggled and worked hard on the farm to send them to school and made sure out of the nothing he had, he still always provided for his daughters. Emmanuella and Amaka, the first and second born daughters already finished from polythecnics.

On one evening, while the rain just reduced to drizzles, Cynthia ran as fast as she could with excitement written all over her face

…………….. i…i…I hav. been…mitted….

Calm down and talk my daughter, her mother said bewilderedly

I have been admitted into the university, Cynthia said in a calmer way

Jukwese! Jukwese!! Jukwese!!! Her jubilant mother started screaming in the house. She had wished for one of her daughters to study in a university. Mrs. Uche started making preparations for her daughter’s resumption to school. She didn’t mind that her soon-to-be school was planning to go on strike.

Luckily for her, her school didn’t go on strike and she was able to resume school on the already scheduled date. Cynthia went through the rigorous registration process and she was happy she finally got accommodation for herself. She had three new roommates. They welcomed her showing enthusiasm, kindness and affection.

The evening of her third day in school, she saw her roommates dressing up for an outing. It was a Friday night. Unknown to her where they were off to, she ignorantly asked Tope, one of her roommates quietly and she replied by telling her its turn up Friday which she couldn’t understand until it was broken down into the simplest form. We’re going for a party and we won’t be back until tomorrow morning, Tope explained. This was the recurrence till the session ended for her roommates. Though she didn’t follow them on their outings of adventure, she wished to follow them someday.

Through the years, Cynthia tried to abstain from sexual relationships. It was really difficult. But what could she have done. In fact the day she was forced to go out to a club, she hid for most part of the night because she did not want to commit a sacrilege. Since then, her love for church and fellowship outgrew her worldly desires. She watched the room while her university roommates went out to have the fun of their lives.

‘Cynthia, make we go flex’ her room mates Tola told her.

I’m not going; I don’t want to lose my virginity she replied bashfully

Pele o omo mummy Olaide said interruptedly

She had to endure all sorts of abuse and insult due to her decision to be celibate. ‘My wedding night would be best night’ she thought as the last person shut the door.

Several months after, her year one roommates have finally graduated though not convincingly because of their wayward lives. She lived a better life without any disturbance of going out with bad company. During this period, she met a guy on her a way to library one Wednesday afternoon. He had been on her trail for almost half an hour from his fairly used Toyota Camry. Before he could get down from the car to reach Cynthia, she was almost at the library entrance

Hello hello….. He said pantingly after running the best 100 metres of his life across the other side of the road.

She looked back, gave him audience and they exchanged contacts. Later that night he gave her a call and they got talking. The calls became more frequent. Soon, they were in a relationship after 17 weeks of unending persistence, she finally gave in.

Days, months, years passed by. Soon enough she finished school with both emotional and financial support from Tunde, her boyfriend. He sprung a surprise by asking his long time girlfriend to marry him on her convocation. An elated Cynthia replied in affirmative despite being so tired after a busy day. This only happened after Tunde was successfully able to convince his parents that a difference in tribe was not a barrier in love. Since then, he had been looking forward to his wedding night where he would finally be able to have sex with his long term girlfriend ‘Ife mi’ as he loved to call her.

He remembered the night he wanted to have make love to her.

[‘I go rape you tonight’, he said that Friday night holding his hard penis which could pierce through a concrete wall.

She cried, begged Tunde from the toilet she locked herself in and it was eventually where she slept.

Tunde’s words of apology were the first thing she heard the next morning he swore he was willing to abide by her rules of not having any sexual relations with her. ]

She began to enjoy being with someone who she could trust; at least till they got married.

Finally, it was their wedding day and unsurprisingly the best day of her life. She was about to have a bomb sex; the wait was over. After it was said and done; Is this what they’ve told me about throughout my life, I have missed a lot she thought to herself as Tunde fell tiredly to his side of the bed. The routine bomb sex continued for a month. She enjoyed it to the extent that she would wake her husband who was of course a specialist in such matters up in the middle of the night .She was sex starved most times. What has happened to me she thought but she couldn’t find any answer within her. She didn’t know what had happened to her. It was her favorite activity.

Six months into their marriage, the husband, Tunde had a crashing accident which eventually took his life after a month of treatment. During the course of his treatment, she discovered she was pregnant for her husband Tunde. Unfortunately, 34 days after the accident, she received a phone call telling her that Tunde, her husband had died.

Now she is lost, widowed and sex starved. If she gets married with her pregnancy, she will be labeled a prostitute, if she dates her ex, she is a flirt. She is at a crossroad confused on whether to satisfy the society or satisfy herself

That is what our society has done to us. They have destroyed us.

Say a gentle prayer for all widows who were going through such right now, the Lord is your strength.

Opinion poll

Should we do what’s best for us or satisfy the society? Please tell us what you think by dropping your comments or send a mail to salawuibrahim@ymail.com

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